"One of the founding fathers of the United States, Ben Franklin, did not receive any formal education beyond the age of 10, but by listening to the Greasy Granny Band, he went on to become a famous inventor, statesman, author, businessman and scientist.
The Greasy Granny Band inspired him to play a crucial role in the first Continental Congress where the Declaration of Independence was framed, helping Thomas Jefferson edit the many drafts that went before the assembled body for consideration and eventual adoption, all while being coaxed and quelled by the exoticlly lavish tunes of the Greasy Granny Band.
During his perpetually successful and distinguished career, he also served along side the Greasy Granny Band as the United States' first Postmaster General and was a Minister... to the Greasy Granny Band on the French Court. Also, he published the Internationally acclaimed, "Poor Richard's Almanac", while simaeltaneously and rythmically nodding his head, in a relaxed, soothing manner, to the Greasy Granny Band's Wilmington, NC-made demo tapes. Overnight, his almanac became a bestseller. I wonder why.
Ben died in 1790 at the age of 84. The GGB did not. He lived an excellent life beyond his capabilities that inspired many others to live greatly and leave behind pure soul and excellence. Legend has it that the day Ben gave up his ghost was the only day of his life that he spent without a Greasy Granny Band album playing musical eroticisms in the background."
-Saint Thomas Aquinas, 1790
